Hi, everybody!

This week’s round up of new releases won’t take long, as there are only two games out today – Trauma Centre: Second Opinion on Wii and Purr Pals on DS. Trauma Centre: Second Opinion was a Wii launch game in the US, but as Atlus Software don’t publish in Europe it has ended up in …

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Chegwin: The Videogame

A party game staring Keith Chegwin: it’s the sort of thing you’d expect to find on a spoof website, alongside Nintentramps, Gary Bushell’s World Championship Goat Milking and Extreme Mobility Scooter Racing. But no: Cheggers’ Party Quiz is actually happening, and we have Oxygen Interactive to ‘thank’. Last week they also announced a sports quiz …

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Balls to piracy

ELSPA and West Yorkshire Trading Standards were so proud of a piracy raid at a car boot sale in Halifax, they invited Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families Ed Balls to see the haul. This gives me the opportunity to write ‘BALLS’ on the forehead of an MP and pass it off as …

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There may or may not be a party like a Mario Party

The most exciting thing to happen to the top 40 chart this week is that Mario Party 8 has re-entered at #9. Before it was recalled – Nintendo unknowingly used the word ‘spastic’ during one of the cut-scenes – it actually went in four places higher at #5. Resident Evil 4 on Wii is also …

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Go! Captain Planet!

Ecolis for the DS has an anti-pollution vibe, and also a hint of Pikmin about it. I don’t think I’ve seen a DS game as busy looking as this – the Japanese trailer below shows dozens and dozens of furry critters on the screen at once. You can get them to planet trees, while other …

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The Darknesss

It was always obvious that The Darkness were going to be a fad band; Justin Hawkins’s high pitched whiny voiced simply wasn’t meant to listened to for years to come. It’s a bit odd that Starbreeze decided to create a gothic first person shooter featuring the long haired hippy, seeing that the group disbanded in …

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Transformers: Autobots

Obviously having paid a recent visit to Nintendo’s School of Pokemon Milking, Activision decided to release two Transformers games on DS – one starring the Autobots, the other the Decepticons. We aren’t stupid enough to buy both, but apparently they’re suitably different – not only do you get to play through the game from a …

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Global Defence Force

A short while ago Sony got a scolding over Resistance on PlayStation 3 featuring a battle in Manchester Cathedral. What occurs in Global Defence Force isn’t as sacred, but within the first few minutes alone you can reduce Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament or the London Eye to a pile of rubble. If the …

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Smurf’s up

In true licensed tat fashion, Ubisoft’s Surf’s Up is being released on every format going. Apparently the SNES version is prettier than the Mega Drive one as the SNES has a pallet of 32,768 colours compared to the Mega Drive’s 512. However, the SNES version costs a tenner more. But seriously: in the US it’s …

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Shouldn’t it be Dr. Whom?

We’re not sure if a Dr. Who game is a good idea. Obviously it’ll sell loads and there are plenty of enemies for the developers to choose from, but the Doctor himself isn’t a superhero – he’s just a chap with a vast knowledge of the universe. And a glowing screwdriver. We’ll still buy it …

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Won’t somebody think of the children?

Actually, sod stupid kids – we feel sorry for the developers who had to work on Jamster Allstars. Why? Because all the characters are from those fucking annoying ringtones, brought to us by the company behind the similarly fucking annoying Crazy Frog. Didn’t all this guff blow over about a year ago anyway? Unlike the …

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King of Clubs

A few months ago Oxygen were being hush-hush over what King of Clubs entails, claiming it to be “this summer’s most unusual game”. Going by name alone, The Official PlayStation 2 Magazine assumed it was a nightclub management sim and even wrote a news story reflecting that. That couldn’t be further from the truth: it’s …

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The Barcode Battler returns

Well, sort of. The new Argos catalogue has a couple of bizarre online game gizmos that are interesting enough to warrant an article on these hallowed pages. In our day the nearest we got to playing online was tying two cans together with string then shouting rude words in either end. Swypeout: Battle Racing is …

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Harry Potter versus the Decepticons

Flipendo! Harry Potter has been knocked off the top spot by Pokemon Diamond. Transformers: The Game stays at #2 with Pokemon Pearl at #3, thus pushing the pubescent wizard down to #4. Nintendo Europe must be pleased: three of their brain training titles also in the top ten, as well as Wii Play. Rugby 08 …

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Comic-Con 07 round up

Although none instantly spring to mind, I’m sure that some videogames have made their first appearance at the annual Comic-Con in the past. This year there were quite a number, which might be down to the fact that E3 was scaled down. LEGO Indiana Jones was the biggest surprise; everybody thought that Travellers’ Tales would …

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