Reviews

Blazing Chrome

Barely a month has passed since Konami announced Contra: Rogue Corps, yet our enthusiasm for the third-person shooter is so low that it had already faded from memory. It wasn’t until making good progress on this review that we remembered it exists,...
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Grass Cutter – Mutated Lawns

During the straightforward introduction stages, Grass Cutter lives up to its not-particularly-ambiguous name. You could even lazily describe it as a grass cutting sim, tasking you with casually mowing every square of grass within a small garden while avoiding hazards and keeping...
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Car Mechanic Simulator

Although the name ‘Car Mechanic Simulator’ makes the premise obvious, we still weren’t sure whether to expect a serious and po-faced experience or something sillier in the vein of Surgeon Simulator. It’s not hard to imagine a game where engines catch fire...
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We. The Revolution

Justice is a difficult thing. A young stable boy of limited cognition ties a saddle loosely. He doesn’t want to hurt the horse. His master yells at him for a job badly done, the boy pushes the master down the stairs. The...
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Supermarket Shriek

The ‘80s microcomputer scene saw many homegrown quintessentially British games, adapting the quirks of British life into every genre possible. Some even formed new genres during their creation – the sandbox-style Skool Daze took a typical day at school and allowed gamers...
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Gunlord X

Giving certain games the review treatment feels pointless. For instance, listen to this: It’s almost as if developers NG:DEV TEAM knew this musical piece alone would bring back fond memories of the Amiga 500. Going one step further, if you’re aware of...
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Home Sweet Home

The titular homestead refers to the cosy abode belonging to Tim, the protagonist of this first-person horror adventure. It initially seems the house is somewhere peaceful to spend downtime between chapters, looking for scattered pages of his missing girlfriend’s diary while taking...
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Hellmut: The Badass from Hell

“The developers must be on drugs!” was a phrase uttered by many ‘80s and ‘90s journalists, usually when a game featured a nonsensical plot or an enemy assortment consisting of household objects and whatnot. During the early noughties, it was a phrase...
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