One of the more unusual stories to break after the Xbox One reveal was that Microsoft has patented the ability to unlock achievements by watching TV.
One obvious use is as an incentive to tune into certain shows and films. Itâ€™s not an idea thatâ€™s massively new â€“ there have been movie trailers on Xbox Live in the past which have offered a free avatar or gamer pic after viewing.
Given that every Xbox One comes with a Kinect, thereâ€™s plenty of scope for mirth with the idea surrounding Microsoftâ€™s new patent. Here are twelve achievements weâ€™d like to see but probably (read: definitely) never will.
- Itâ€™s a miracle â€“ 30G
You laughed during an episode of Outnumbered
- A sign of maturity â€“ 50G
You watched a Star Wars film without making any lightsaber noises
- Smooth move, bro â€“ 20G
Kinect detected you performing the old â€˜yawn and stretchâ€™ move with a potential new partner
- Bad mother f**ker â€“ 100G
You silently lip-synced all of Samuel Jacksonâ€™s lines in Pulp Fiction
- Just how old are you, exactly? â€“ 5G
Kinect detects youâ€™re watching CBeebies even though no children are present
- Well, that was awkward â€“ 75G
Watched any American Pie film with your nan
- Now go outside for some fresh air, stinky â€“ 150G
Watched all eight Harry Potter films back-to-back
- Subliminal advertising works â€“ 50G
Ate a can of Whiskers after watching District 9
- They can’t hear you, idiot – 5G
Yelled “Bank!” ten times during The Weakest Link
- It can be our little secret â€“ 20G
You cried at the end of Wall*E
- No, itâ€™s not real â€“ 5G
You tried to reach out and grab the chocolate bar during the commercial scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Really? â€“ 5G
You questioned why Batman and Superman arenâ€™t in Avengers Assemble
Now let us pray for achievement hunters everywhere that Microsoft doesnâ€™t sign up a new series of Eldorado.
Fuck that shit…. You think this kind of type is what gamers want?
WTF is this $HIT?!
That was a damn fine witty article and you start complaining about it?!
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