Are you terrible at retro sports games, or even sports games in general? Pro Jank Footy is here to make you look like the gaming equivalent of Bobby Charlton. Its main gimmick is a collection of randomised perks and power-ups designed to level the playing field, quite literally, as one of these can reset the score to nil. It’s also possible to swap scores, introduce superstar players at will, increase the goal size, or trigger a match ending golden goal opportunity instantly. With so many boons available, easy wins are inevitable. Sadly, the same is true in reverse, turning comfortable victories into uphill battles.
All of this creates an arcade-style sports game that is more chaotic than competitive, filling a unique niche in the market. If you’re thinking that a sports game in which victory can be snatched away at random doesn’t sound particularly fair, take note of the word “jank” in the title. The developers aren’t trying to deceive anyone. Matches are also quick, making it possible to fit half a dozen games into roughly 30 minutes, especially if you gain the “shorter quarters” power-up or secure a golden goal finish.
Pro Jank Footy isn’t based on soccer or even American football, but rather Australian Rules Football. This isn’t the sport’s first video game adaptation, with AFL 26 from Big Ant Studios having recently provided a considerably more serious take. The rules bear some similarities to rugby, featuring an egg-shaped ball that can be carried and thrown, along with a comparable field goal system. The field itself is oval, and either one point or six points are awarded depending on whether the ball passes between the outer posts or the central goal posts. A match consists of four quarters, with teams remaining at the same end throughout. While this may sound confusing at first, the rules quickly become clear after a match or two. By that point, you’ll also have developed a good understanding of the randomised power-ups and how often they hinder as much as they help.
The controls are reminiscent of football games from the ‘90s, most notably Konami’s International Superstar Soccer. Visually, it follows a similar path too, featuring a side-on perspective and 16-bit style pixel art. Players can throw, pass, tackle (shove,) switch to the nearest teammate, shoot, and sprint – although sprinting drains a gauge. Teammates stay close enough to facilitate quick player switching, and the entire control scheme can be learned and mastered within a couple of matches. There’s even a helpful “How to Play” section accessible from the main menu for newcomers or couch companions who need a quick lesson.
First impressions are generally positive. The visuals are colourful, the pixel art is well drawn, the commentary is daft as a brush, and it appears to include most of the modes we’ve come to expect from sports titles. However, after spending time with these modes, you may find yourself scratching your head, or worse, feeling somewhat short-changed. Season Mode involves defeating all eight rival teams, with such names as the Wattle Ridge Wombats and the Salisbury Park Snags. The teams feature both male and female players, and you begin by selecting three power-ups. Rather than allowing you to save progress and return later, however, all eight opponents must be defeated in a single run. There are no retries, so upon defeat you’re abruptly kicked back to the title screen. It’s a surprisingly harsh design choice. Another oddity is that teams have no statistical differences like handicaps, standout players, or unique attributes. Choosing a team is almost entirely down to which shirt colour you prefer.
Watch Mode does exactly what you’d expect, allowing you to observe a single match. Less of a mode, and more of an extra. Kick to Kick mode is an unusual hybrid between a training mode and a one-on-one match. It places you in control of a single player on an empty pitch and allows you to score goals indefinitely. There are no time-limit settings and, oddly, no music. In fact, there’s an odd lack of options across the board, right down to a lack of stat or progress trackers – possibly because there are no extra to unlock.
The remaining modes are Online and Versus. Unfortunately, I couldn’t test online play as the servers weren’t live. Versus is where most players are likely to spend their time, as the game seems specifically designed around local multiplayer and single matches against AI. Random power-ups can also be disabled entirely, resulting in fairer and more methodical matches.
The core experience is akin to playing a 16-bit football game where random nonsense constantly erupts. So much randomness, in fact, that it can cost you a match, especially if the score resets to zero moments before the final whistle. Matches can become so chaotic that merely reaching the goal becomes a challenge. Players can be transformed into all kinds of absurd things, including seagulls, shopping trolleys, and even additional footballs. Cars, pitch invaders, and a dummy third team can suddenly appear on the field. The display itself can also be sabotaged, whether through a flipped screen, a bouncing DVD logo, or a blue “Select HDMI” screen that appears without warning. Even after three hours of play, I continued to encounter previously unseen power-ups, so there is certainly plenty of bizarre content to discover.
The idea seems to be less about serious competition and more about gathering some friends, cracking open a few beers, and seeing just how ridiculous things can become when modifiers begin stacking. Introducing a power-up such as “All Goals Are Now Worth Ten Points” during the third or fourth quarter can dramatically alter a match’s outcome. It’s a shame a “Best of X” option isn’t included, as multiple matches are almost mandatory to achieve a fair-ish result given how heavily luck influences things. It’s also worth stressing that many power-ups are permanent rather than temporary. That bouncing DVD logo, for example, remains on screen for the entire match. Long before the final whistle, its novelty wears thin.
In many ways, that serves as the perfect analogy for Pro Jank Footy itself: a joke that gradually wears thinner the longer it goes on. The moment-to-moment gameplay of passing, shooting, and scoring isn’t especially janky beyond a slight lack of fluidity. Ultimately, though, it’s still a sports game where a single random power-up can determine the outcome of a match. That’s the real source of the jank, and I’m not entirely convinced there’s enough long-term appeal, particularly when the game is so eager to send players back to the title screen without offering even the faintest hint of a second chance.
Powerbomb Games and Tinker Town’s Pro Jank Footy is out 12th August on PS5, Xbox Series, Switch and PC. Published by Umbrella Gaming.