Historia’s free-to-play party racer Faaast Penguin finally arrived on the Xbox Store over the festive period, having successfully launched on other platforms a few months prior. While a full review would be of questionable use (free games are regularly updated with new modes and content) it is worth discussing what it gets right and wrong.
The concept of Faaast Penguin, much like Fall Guys before it, is easy to grasp. It’s a casual 40 player online racer with bright and vibrant visuals, featuring a cast of delightfully gormless (and fully customisable) penguins. Races take place on slippery downhill descents mostly formed from tubes and slopes, set across snow, water, ice, and sand, with the goal being to secure a podium place. Players partake in four races before a winner is crowned, and in typical free-to-play game fashion you’ll earn higher ranks and win in-game currency to purchase new cosmetics.
There are a couple of gimmicks present, one of which elevates the experience significantly. Instead of featuring Mario Kart-style weapons, each penguin is armed with a mighty and rather satisfying ‘wing slap’ manoeuvre. If used effectively, it can propel you into the air to not only leapfrog other racers but to reach new areas also. To prevent races becoming ‘slap happy’ there’s a short cooldown before it can be used again. This means you’ll have to time each slap well, using it to get a boost off the starting grid or reach a higher section of the track. Or simply to aggravate others.

Another means to secure a victory is to collect ten cans of sardines, which will allow you to summon a rideable whale for around 10 seconds, speeding through the pack while knocking hapless rivals off course. If you’re nimble enough, it’s possible to collect enough sardines to activate this power-up twice in a race, and it pays to wait until the perfect time to use it such as a straight track section or towards the finishing line.
Faaast Penguin knows how to make a good first impression; it has an inviting visual style, an easy to grasp premise, and it throws a reasonable amount of currency your way so that you can customise your character. The in-app purchases aren’t too intrusive either. But it also isn’t long until the novelty wears off. After a couple of hours I felt like there wasn’t much more to see. I had been crowned race champion a few times, seen every racetrack available, and engaged in far too many races with AI bots filling in the roster.
Due to the downhill nature of races, learning track layouts isn’t largely beneficial here. Races are fast paced and not much involvement is required when it comes to manoeuvring yourself on the track. It isn’t as if there’s a complex drifting system to master or if heavy braking is required when cornering. I was still able to secure podium places on tracks I had never seen before.

This results in a bigger problem. It’s difficult to see how Faaast Penguin can maintain player engagement. Sure, future seasons will likely include new cosmetics and perhaps a new track or two, but unless something major is introduced such as weapons or duos, the game itself will forever remain mechanically simplistic. It doesn’t provide much to become invested in outside of its ranking system, and it suffers for it. Not to the point where the experience feels throwaway or flimsy, but certainly to the point where it feels remarkably casual.
Faaast Penguin might be easy to p-p-pick up, but it’s also easy to put down.