Meet Davy. He’s a low-level zombie in a post-apocalyptic world overrun by monsters that have left humanity on the brink. Davy isn’t like the ogres, lizard men and werewolves patrolling the crumbling surface, though. Not only does he refuse to eat humans, but he also has a reason to live after falling for a girl with a beautiful smile, found frozen inside an ice cream parlour. His goal is to find a way for them to be together, with the joke being that they have never even spoken, let alone been romantically involved. Even for a zombie, that’s pretty creepy.
The means of reviving Davy’s crush – who becomes less of a mystery as he gradually recovers her social media accounts – just so happens to involve heading into the ruined wastelands to battle armies of monsters, including the head honcho who summoned the apocalypse. How does a mere layabout zombie dressed in typical teenage attire defeat hordes of bigger nasties? By chowing down on their flesh to steal their powers, turning himself into a zombified monster in the process – trademark baseball cap and all.
This ability emerges after Davy accidentally eats a precious phoenix egg belonging to a recently befriended eccentric scientist. Being the sociable sort, and fuelled by raging teenage lust, Davy finds himself surrounded by a bunch of ragtag survivors, all of whom have holed up in an abandoned shopping centre – think along the lines of Dead Rising’s Willamette Mall. By bringing them scraps and trinkets from the overworld – accessed via a turbo-charged toilet – he can request his fellow survivors to incrementally upgrade his passive and permanent skills, including a bunch of cybernetic enhancements.
What we have here is a fast-paced roguelike dungeon crawler focused on brutal melee combat. It’s similar to 2025’s KIBORG, only with Japanese influences scattered throughout, making it comparable to Romeo Is a Dead Man, Lollipop Chainsaw, Hi-Fi Rush and No More Heroes. As you’d expect given the £39.99 price tag, it’s a step above most other roguelikes visually, fuelled by striking effects and a pop-art presentation that sees the screen slapped with stickers, enamel badges and magazine cut-outs. And while the prospect of zombies devouring monsters may sound gruesome, there’s very little gore here, with blood replaced by striking spurts of fluorescent fluid.
You’re required to reach the boss level of a dungeon within a tight time limit of around 12 minutes, choosing a balance of offensive and defensive skills that will help you overcome the boss. Dungeons are formed from recycled sections, comprising of battle arenas – some of which contain saw blades and bombs – and light platforming sequences, with several time periods represented. All the while, you’re able to consume monster cores, with up to two available at any time. Monster bodies can be swapped freely, although they last for only 2-3 floors. Thankfully, they aren’t hard to come by. Entering a boss fight without at least one monster core is almost guaranteed to end in failure, casting you back to the mall to recuperate.
Stupid Never Dies is surprisingly dense mechanically, especially when it comes to the fighting system, which uses every button on the PS5 controller. On top of this, there’s quite a bit to the upgrade system, with several vendors available. It does a very good job of breaking down these systems before layering them on, with the first hour or so consisting of just a few skirmishes strung together. There’s bound to be at least one mechanic you overlook, making this something you may need to experiment with before everything finally clicks into place. For me, that happened around the two-hour mark. Without wanting to get too far ahead, even more content unlocks when the storyline reaches its halfway point, including a new store at the mall, a style-rank gauge and another handful of monsters to transform into – bringing the total to 11.
Let’s rewind to the 12-minute time limit, which can be extended slightly. You’ll need to dash through the dungeons quickly, killing groups of enemies and marked foes to drop barriers and proceed. There’s a great sense of progression throughout, as Davy levels up more quickly over time and grows stronger through cybernetic enhancements. Most runs end with Davy several levels higher, with level 50 easily achievable by the time the boss floor beckons. Of course, you need to leave enough time to defeat the boss. Failing to do so is a mistake you’re likely to make only once. Tying into the time management aspect is the ability to skip dungeon floors entirely if you feel Davy is sufficiently powerful, perhaps jumping from floor one to floor five if you’ve significantly increased his default attack power. Generally, tackling four or five floors before taking on a boss is doable. Don’t expect bosses to go down easily, though, as you may need a certain monster or a bunch of epic or legendary perks to beat them. Each has hard-hitting attack patterns to watch out for, too, such as the Wyvern’s ability to torch the battle arena before fanning the flames with its wings.
Combat is fast-paced, stylish and impactful, with Davy lunging at enemies with all his might. R2 is used to both parry and dash, and the counter window is generous. Jumping attacks play a crucial role, right down to the ability to increase damage while airborne. There are no health drops; instead, Davy must charge a ‘bite’ meter to chomp an enemy and recover health. The bigger the enemy, the more health restored. Cybernetic weapons offer cooldown-based skills such as shields and chainsaw arms, while every monster has a special ability – Davy’s default is a puddle of corrosive puke. There’s also a ‘hyper gauge’ to charge, which is usually ready just in time for the boss.
Each controllable monster has its own skills, with the starting selection including a werewolf that rips ‘n’ tears, a projectile-flinging harpy, a colossal ogre with a club and a lich that can summon an army of skeletons. It’s neat that monster transformations aren’t temporary or tied to a cooldown. In some instances, they’re even used for exploration, with the harpy able to reach loot on high ledges.
The one thing the combat system struggles with is keeping track of the action. As it isn’t possible to lock onto enemies, things are messier than they should be, with enemies occasionally performing charged attacks out of view and the camera irksomely positioning itself behind pillars and walls. While it never resulted in frustration or led to an early grave, don’t expect the camera to be as dynamic as those seen in Devil May Cry 5 and similar modern hack ‘n’ slashers.
The camera is the only fly in the ointment here. It doesn’t take long at all for Stupid Never Dies to sink its hooks in, showering you with the items needed to progress smoothly and ensuring you’re never stuck battling the same boss for long by allowing Davy to become gloriously overpowered. As silly as the premise may be, it’s a pretty good motivator to keep playing, with Davy remaining lovestruck throughout – right down to peppering the ice cream parlour with gifts, like a shrine. Returning to the mall is oddly compelling, as there’s usually at least one new thing to discover, and the supporting cast are all likeable thanks to their distinctive mannerisms.
If you’re a fan of Japanese quirkiness and melee-combat-focused experiences, this comes highly recommended, being as crunchy as it is visceral. The challenge always seems fair, with boss fights that feel tough but never impossible and plenty of encouragement to spur you on. The sheer number of mechanics is a little mind-boggling at first, but you soon realise that everything serves a purpose. There are a few fun extras, too, including a DJ booth and unlockable cosmetics inspired by the current blind-box toy craze. For something starring a festering zombie, it’s remarkably fresh.
GPTRACK50’s Stupid Never Dies is out 21st Oct on PS5 and PC.