Viva Viva Pinata

Did you remember to open the first door on your advent calendar today? We only remembered when typing this article’s title. Behind the door we found a small square of brown plastic, which we think is meant to be chocolate. That’ll teach us for not buying a proper Cadbury one. It’s a jolly colourful calender …

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WWE SmackDown vs Raw 2007

‘Sports entertainment’ is a big daft panto of a thing, so why are its games always so infuriatingly complicated? Because its fans are obsessive idiots. That’s our theory, anyway. But what it means is that, unlike almost any other sports game, it’s all but impossible to recommend to anyone other than fans. Which is a …

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Lumines II

Admit it. You were worried when Bueua Vista Games (i.e. Disney) announced that they were going to be publishing the sequel to sublime puzzler Lumines. And you were probably even more worried when you heard that they were going to be including a licensed soundtrack featuring the likes of Gwen Stefani, Beck, The Black Eyed …

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NHL 2K7

Living in olde England and all, we know little more than the basics when it comes to ice hockey. We certainly don’t mind giving the latest efforts from EA or 2K a go when they plop through our letterbox though – you can always count on the fighting system to brighten our spirits when we’re …

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Capcom Classics Collection Reloaded

We like a good retro compilation, with the Taito Legends duo, Sonic Mega Collection and the first two Midway Arcade Treasures collections being the very definition of good. Capcom Classics Collection Remixed – released on PSP only a few months ago – didn’t make that list, as it was missing Street Fighter II and Ghouls …

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Hawk Kawasaki Racing

Criticising a budget game is a lot like telling a six year old boy to draw a lady then shouting at him to the point that he cries because he failed to equal the subtlety of the Mona Lisa. By that we mean that criticising a budget game is a lot like this: fun. A …

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SpongeBob SquarePants: Creature from the Krusty Krab

We infrequently have high expectations of cartoon licenses, but with SpongeBob we’re always a little more optimistic. Not much, but we harbour the hope of at least being made to chuckle. And we’re always disappointed. It seems like an attempt has been made to capture the spirit of the show, as the game has a …

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Gears of War

Microsoft once famously claimed that Halo 3 would launch on the same day as the PlayStation 3 in the US. Obviously that hasn’t happened, but instead we’ve been presented with Gears of War, which not only looks better than Halo 3 – judging by the shots printed in certain publications – but was actually released …

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The Sopranos: Road to Respect

The videogame market is rife with copycats, and always has been. It would be impossible to count the number of Pac-Man clones released in the Atari era, or games that looked and smelt like Space Invaders. EA acquired the Godfather license; Vivendi went and got Scarface. THQ followed suit, bringing home The Sopranos. But should …

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Jaws Unleashed

The conception of the annual summer blockbuster was back in June 1975, when the original Jaws movie was released. So in effect we have Jaws to blame for the deluge of licensed pap that finds its way into our consoles every summer. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Madagascar and Fantastic Four last year; Monster House, …

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Canis Canem Edit

Rockstar once said that Bully is just a light hearted looked at school life, much like Harry Potter, Just William and The Beano. We certainly don’t recall Dennis the Menace smacking Walter the Softie with a baseball bat, then calling him a prick before rubbing spit into his face though. And we don’t recall Harry …

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FIFA 07

There was an article in a Sunday newspaper a few weeks ago, which reported that big name footballers were planning to store sperm samples to create clones of themselves in the not too distant future. We can’t vouch for the reliability of the report, but if such a thing were to happen then it would …

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WTF

We all know what WTF really stands for, but in D3’s little world – or at least for this mini-game compilation – it has an all new meaning. That’s because the game is intended to be played during the odd ten minute break, or while waiting for the photocopier to finish fusing carcinogenic toner to …

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Raiden III

We’re continually surprised by the number of 2D shooters released in this day and age. Fair enough, there aren’t as many around as there are, say, first person shooters, but there have probably been more released on PlayStation 2 in Europe than on PSone. So much for a genre dying on its arse. Although not …

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Dead Rising

A shopping mall full of zombies isn’t a scenario as far fetched as it initially seems. The ones we visit are always packed with pasty-faced youths, hanging around in crowds wearing torn clothes, mumbling to one another and scuffing their feet, and elderly sorts blocking doorways and aimlessly wandering around. As much as we’d like …

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