It’s a case of survival of the fattest in this cross between Snake and Feeding Frenzy. You play as one of three types of (monster) bugs, munching your way through vegetation, people and other bugs. Every chomp propels you up the food chain – eat something outlined in green or another bug, and you’ll grow larger. Watch for your tail, though, as it’s vulnerable to attack from other critters.

The three bugs draw strength from different sources. Metallic bugs eat machinery but will take damage if they eat people or trees, while green bugs enjoy chewing on trees but are hindered if they eat people or machines. There’s no prize for guessing what red bugs eat.

There are a couple of power-ups, too, including a speed boost and the ability to spit venom.

The campaign comprises of just four levels. The first simply requires you to grow to a certain size, the second pits you against ‘waves’ of enemies, the third requires you to eat 15 bugs, while the final mission entails eating people. We breezed through it in less than 15 minutes

It’s odd as each stage has unique goals and a unique play stage. If the developers had thought to use combinations of already existing stages and goals, this would have bumped the total up to 16 levels – a more respectable amount.  

Presumably, they wanted (or expected) players to spend the bulk of their time in the multiplayer “party” mode. Sadly, this too fails to engage. The controls are pleasingly simple, allowing anyone to pick up and play, but it’s not fast-paced enough to be manic. Nor is it tactical enough to be tense. Our multiplayer buddies soon asked to play something else.

It doesn’t help that it’s visually crude. The sound effects are annoying and cheap, the music is tedious, and the graphics reminded me of ‘90s PC shareware. We understand that developers have budgets and unique skillsets. But still, if you end up with shareware graphics, why not lampshade it by ejecting a hefty dose of personality? A game called ‘Monster Bugs Eat People’ should be full of daftness and B movie shlock. This isn’t that game.

Before rounding things up, there’s an elephant in the room to address. Monster Bugs Eat People is £1.79. Sometimes it can even be found for less. Is it worth £1.79? Maybe. £1.79 isn’t a lot of money. But it’s definitely not worth your time. Not even 15 minutes of it.

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