This bitch bites

According to a poll in one of the red top newspapers, videogames are high on the list of things that women choose to buy for their partner on valentine’s day. Seeing as Aliens: Colonial Marines is the only retail release this week, we wouldn’t be surprised if a fair few loved up gamers are going to be receiving SEGA’s less than stellar shooter. We don’t suggest asking for the receipt…unless you desperately need a night to yourself.


Our experience with Aliens: Colonial Marines was not exactly a case of love at first sight. In fact, we didn’t really love it at all. It peaks as soon as the second mission – set in Aliens’ human colony Hadley’s Hope – and then never hits that stride again. Despite being famous for the ability to maul a mere human to pieces, the Aliens never pose a threat and atmosphere and tension are thin on the ground. A brainless blaster that holds your hand from start to finish, it ends with an anti-climax. Five years people have waited for this. Five years.

Once the embargo broke on Tuesday morning – the day of the game’s release – plenty of damning reviews surfaced including 3/10 from Eurogamer, 4.5/10 from IGN, 2.5/10 from Destructoid and 5/10 from EDGE.

And then came along a 9.0 from EGM Now, which left many understandably dumbfounded.

The only hope the upcoming Wii U version has is being the best version of a bad game. Hardly a selling point, is it?


Thankfully for those after something new to play there are a few downloads of note. Wii U owners even get something for gratis – Namco’s Tank! Tank! Tank! is now available as a free-to-play download, with additional DLC packs starting from £1.59. We reviewed the full game back in December where we likened it to the type of short-lived arcade conversions the Dreamcast used to offer. It looks like Kong Mode – the best thing about the game – isn’t free, however. There’s also a demo of the apparently pretty good 2 Fast 4 Gnomz arriving on 3DS eShop, while Konami’s Castlevania makes an appearance on 3DS Virtual Console for £4.49.

Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's Decade Duels Plus

Konami are also releasing Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’s Decade Duels Plus on Xbox Live Arcade for 800 MSP this week. It’s a sequel of sorts to a game that Konami pulled from XBLA in 2011, only now it’s returning with 2,000 new cards and other improvements. It’s probably quite good if card-based battle games are your thing.

Then over on PSN there’s the neat looking 2D run and gunner Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken for PS Vita and the germ popping puzzler Germinator for both PS3 and PS Vita. Dr. Mario must be out playing golf.

Next week: Crysis 3 (PS3, 360, PC), Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (PS3, 360), Persona 4 Golden (PS Vita), Dynasty Warriors 7: Empires (PS3), Tiny Token Empires (PSN), Capcom Arcade Cabinet (XBLA) and Serious Sam D XXL (XBLA).

Leave a Comment