Improbable E3 predictions

E3 is now go. Are you excited? We are excited. Let’s speculate, with some very improbable predictions, shall we?

  • Ubisoft hands out free rabbits in order to promote 3DS title Rabbids Rumble. By the end of the week the price of carrots inflates to an all-time high.

  • Out of force of habit, 2K Games puts up posters saying “Duke Nukem Forever: Coming Soon”.

  • Shigsy appears on stage wearing a diver’s helmet and a wetsuit. Nintendo’s E3 conference ends without revealing why.

  • Nintendo announces Wii Fat – a hilarious novelty version of Wii Fit. Comes with £50 of Burger King vouchers.

  • 505 Games dresses a staff member in a Naughty Bear costume to promote Naughty Bear: Panic in Paradise. They’re mistaken for Pedobear and escorted off the premises.

  • Activision shuts off the power for 10 minutes, plunging the show into darkness and eventual chaos. It’s revealed, two days later, that the blackout was to promote Black Ops II.

  • Sony blockades all doors and refuses anybody to leave without buying a PS Vita.

  • Microsoft launches a new advertising campaign – “Look mate, just buy a Kinect yeah?”

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