If I ruled Hyrule…

How did Nintendo celebrate Mario’s 25th birthday? They put a crusty old SNES game on a Wii disk and bundled it with a music CD that wasn’t even worth taking out of the box. Unbelievable, really.

Rumour has it that Nintendo plans a similar package for Link’s 25th birthday. Could a press release like the one below be imminent? We bloody hope not, but at least we’ve managed to have a bit of fun with the prospect:

Link’s finest moments to be re-re-re-released on Nintendo Wii

Bognor Regis – April 14, 2011 – In 2003 Nintendo generously gave away copies of The Legend of Zeldaâ„¢: Collector’s Edition on GameCubeâ„¢ as a free promotional item. Today Nintendo is pleased to announce that this legendary collection will be gloriously preserved in The Legend of Zelda – 25th Anniversary Collection for Nintendo Wiiâ„¢.

This collection contains four classics that gamers have already purchased many times before, including The Legend of Zelda; Linkâ„¢’s second quest The Adventure of Link (which isn’t as bad as you remember, because we say so); and Link’s two Nintendo 64â„¢ adventures Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask. You know, the one that’s brilliant but we act like we’re ashamed of it? That one.

This is a collection that Zelda fans are bound to love and cherish, at least until copies start selling for fifty quid on eBay.

In addition to this stunning compilation disk, an art book featuring art we found on Google Image Search, and a music CD including Naviâ„¢’s fantastically annoying speech samples – such as “Hey!”, “Watch Out!” and “Listen!” – will also be included.

In a revolutionary move The Legend of Zelda – 25th Anniversary Collection will have no fixed RRP, allowing retailers to charge whatever they please. Nobody seemed to mind with Super Mario All-Stars 25th Anniversary Collection, and we found that quite funny, so we’ll let them do it again.

The Legend of Zelda 25th Anniversary Collection will be released either to coincide with Link’s 25th birthday or when there’s a gap in the Wii release schedule. Whichever comes first, to be honest; probably the latter.

In 2012 Nintendo will be honouring Kirbyâ„¢’s 20th birthday by re-releasing the SNES mini-game collection Kirby Super Star on Wii, which will come with a free pack of strawberry Hubba Bubba.


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