It may be clear by now that I love a good pun. I love a bad pun, too. There are also certain people who would have you believe that I love pirates (the old fashioned nautical kind). But these people are liars.
The point I’m managing to avoid is that, unbeknownst to me, the press releases detailing ELSPA’s anti-piracy raids – which are frequent – are a source of punning gold. I hope you’ll enjoy them too.
It’s today’s “Worcestershire Source Of Pirate Activity” – because the raid was in Worcestershire – which made me suddenly take notice. “Brothers Grim Prison Sentence” is in the same vein, the raid having been on brothers from Grimsby.
There are some more obvious piratey ones (“Gloucestershire Bust Reveals Treasure Chest of Pirated Games”, “Pirate’s Gold Veils Hidden Booty”) and of course some serious ones (“Pirates Count Cost Of Crime” and the like).
But there’s one which stands proud above all others: “Court Grabs Woman’s Assets”. It’s by no means clear whether it’s meant to have the connotations my mind conjures up. Which – like the fact that these are all intended to be quite serious news stories – only makes it better.