What is up, vanilla faces? Iâ€™m Forty Nine Pence, the numero uno aficionado of the great rap luminary 50 Cent, or Good Sir Fiddy as his home lads say. Today I intend to proclaim the virtues of Fiddy’s new game, specifically G Unit Edition for the PSP. Now just let me doff my cap and limber up in preparation of my lyrical waxing.
The most splendid feature of 50 Cent’s games is that they allow you to play as Good Sir Fiddy himself. This one also allows you the pleasure of playing with Fiddy, though all the action takes place from a top down perspective. Right over his head. I remember one time when I walked over a beggar’s head in my local market, and he asked me “can I get abouta tree fiddy?”. Why, I gasped “God dammit, I ain’t gonna give you no tree fiddy, now go away!” – which seemed fine at first, but mere minutes later this same beggar did accost me and once more ask “tree fiddy, gimme tree fiddy!” How very dare he! Well, I soon put an end to that as I conked him on the head with my umbrella and dumped his smelly body in the green glass recycling bin. The nerve of some people.
I’ll tell you what’s also annoying – this game’s camera. As you view the world from the perspective of a dispossessed floating soul, you only see the tops of everything. Apart from Fiddy’s fine head of hair, you also see walls from atop, and doors… now, as you can’t control the ghostly camera, this does pose the occasional dilemma. “Where’s the buggery door?!” was a common response to this situation.
For a fan like myself, the bonus material is one of the highlights of this game. Many full music videos, and many more of Fiddy’s tracks, can all be played on your PSP. The prospect of playing Fiddy’s tracks in public was more than enough reason for me to play this game. Why, one time I even ordered my butler to sit on the local bus and play the exquisite Candyshop aloud from the back seat. I’m told it was a riot.
In between missions a variety of cutscenes featuring Fiddy delight the viewer, whilst the interactive hood lets you buy gear and hang with hookers and homos – virtually, of course. I’ve never been near a prostitute myself you see. I’d never do that sort of thing, certainly not. I was at home hosting a dinner party last night, you can ask my maid!
This game is exceedingly hip and cool, even when disarming your victims stylish and in no way repetitive animations play. “Boom, headshot, sucka!” Fiddy proclaims as he grabs the gun out of a henchman’s hand and inserts it up his nose for a jolly good hosing. Quite superb. I never get bored watching all these profound sequences each time I dispose of the enemies. You can even beat tramps to death with planks of wood, now that’s what I call good cricket!
Well, I’d better see matron for my daily paddle now. Word up and respect to your nannies, mister!