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Swedish developers GRIN only made a few games before filing for bankruptcy. Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter and its sequel were easily their finest moments. Dismal movie tie-ins Wanted: Weapons of Fate and Terminator Salvation were their worst. Bionic Commando sits in between. When it’s good, it’s really good. When it’s bad, it’s like playing one of the shoddiest games ever.
Dreadlocked and fowled mouthed hero Nathan Spencer is equipped with a bionic arm that can be used to swing through the levels, and then later in the game grab hold of enemies and fling them though the air. Throwing cars at foes is oddly satisfying too, especially cars that are on fire.
The first few levels aren’t anything spectacular including a ruined office block and a derelict city but the later levels, such as a public garden with giant greenhouses, are a lot more alluring. I think if GRIN had changed the level order it would have made a greater first impression on people. The flora and fauna is really quite beautiful in places.


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There are plenty of mysteries in life with G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra’s 16+ age rating being one fine example. There’s no blood, no swearing, no dismemberment and most of the enemies are robots or mechanical machines. When you consider that Batman: Arkham Asylum is only a 15 certificate, it’s very odd indeed. There is a character called Snow Job, but unintentional innuendo alone isn’t going to get the game a 16+ rating.
I was well aware of the mediocre reviews G.I Joe gained on release. However, I was also aware that it’s a fairly simplistic arcade-style run and gunner, which appeals to the retro fanatic inside me. At £7.99 from ShopTo’s sale it seemed rude not to, and although the graphics aren’t anything to get excited about it’s quite a fun blaster with more depth than you might originally expect. The hardcore mode lives up to its name at least; three hits and you’re out. The casual mode plays more like one of the Lego games – you get infinite lives but your score is docked at the end.
At the start only two characters are available with more becoming unlocked once rescued or by finding their contracts during missions. Each has their own skill and has a different weapon, so trying to find the right mix of characters to take into battle adds a tactical element. I always had Heavy Duty on my team though; he’s a good all-rounder. The CPU controlled characters doesn’t take damage so if you’re ever getting low on health you can sneakily swap characters to prevent dying. Activating the ‘super suits’ or (whatever they’re called) gives you some extra firepower and the theme tune from the 80s cartoon blares out in an unashamedly cheesy manner.
Of course, those mediocre reviews weren’t dished out unfairly – it is repetitive and the auto aiming system is a bit naff. But playing this is just like playing a 16-bit shooter (Contra / Probotector spring to mind) only in shiny new 3D, which is something you can’t say about a lot of Xbox 360 shooters.
When a game sells about as well as chocolate covered poo it’s a blow to both the developer and publisher. But it’s not all bad news – after hanging around on shelves for a few months unwanted games more often than not end up in the bargain bin at silly prices. Is £2.97 a silly price to pay for The Club on Xbox 360? I’d say that it’s about a sensible as a giving yourself a paper cut in the eye.
The Club is a result of Project Gotham Racing developers Bizarre Creations trying to do something different with the third person shoot’em up genre. If you fail to kill anybody as you run around the maze-like environments then your score multiplier starts “bleeding out”. Some levels require you to simply stay alive for three minutes or so while enemies swarm towards you, others force you to run and gun to a signposted exit killing as many people as you can on the way. The most unique levels play like something out of a racing game with laps to complete and time extension tokens to pick up.
Trying to beat high scores and rack up huge multipliers is addictive stuff but I think the main reason I enjoyed playing this is that on casual mode it’s stupidly easy. I managed to play through the whole game, dying only once or twice, in around three hours. The levels are short but varied; I just wanted to keep playing to see what was coming next. And of course, because it’s so easy I didn’t find myself wanting to throw the joypad across the room in frustration.
If you fancy feeling like a big man for a few hours, then blowing a fiver or so on The Club isn’t a bad thing to do.