The press release announcing Toy Story 3 was only issued back in February, just four short months before the game itself. With such a short space of time between being announced and being released I feared that this would be a rush job. The end result though is a package that’s both fun and imaginative. See – sometimes it’s nice to be proven wrong.

A makeshift board game – designed by porcine money box Hamm, no less – provides a hub while the game is set as a retrospective after the film. The story mode takes around 3 hours to finish and covers the key-events plus a few extra levels for good measure, such as a chance to play through the Buzz Lightyear videogame seen at the start of Toy Story 2. Two other levels are set in a little girl’s imagination, including one in a bedroom that starts to flood with coffee that has to be quickly avoided. Woody, Jess and Buzz can be swapped between with a touch of button and have their own unique skill – the junkyard level is a highlight as it makes good use of skill swapping and is actually quite clever in places. Should you ever get stuck at any point in the game a hint can be given, and there are also infinite lives on hand to stop the kiddies from getting too frustrated. This doesn’t really do any favours to the difficulty level, mind.

Also available to access from the hub is the significantly longer lasting Wild West themed toy box mode. The idea here is to turn a dusty ghost town into a thriving society by completing missions, buying new buildings and purchasing playthings. There’s a relaxed pace with no pressure to do anything apart from stopping the occasional bank robbery and to defend the town from random pixie/gargoyle/robot invasions. The more buildings built, the more things there are to see and do – building the newspaper office, for instance, adds a camera to your inventory and a list of things to find and snap. A goo machine lets you change the size of objects while every building – and also the town’s inhabitants – can be customised with parts hidden around the environments.

Once a sports car has been purchased a brilliantly designed stunt park becomes available and there are countless hidden things to find, like the ability to rather sadistically drop kick the Lego-style townsfolk through the air. To see and do everything on the checklist will take an incredible amount of hours – easily the same amount that you’d have to sink into a decent RPG.

Ignoring the shortcomings of the story mode, I think this will be remembered as a genuinely decent movie tie-in for quite a long time to come.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why Mr. Potato Head isn’t featured it’s because EA currently hold the rights for their Hasbro Game Night series. It isn’t a massive blow – who wants to play as a talking vegetable anyway?

Whoever said that you can’t please everybody all of the time was certainly onto something. I once had a few friends over for dinner, one of which was a vegetarian. We were having meatloaf so to keep Mr. Veggie happy I formed his meatloaf into the shape of a giant carrot. Unexpectedly, he threw his dinner against the dining room wall and hasn’t spoken to me since.

It’s something of a miracle, then, to find that developers High Moon Studios (of The Bourne Conspiracy fame) have managed to make a Transformers game that will please both fans of the 80s cartoons and those weaned on the last two Transformers movies. For starters, the character designs are a mixture of the mechanical monsters from Michael Bay’s efforts and the more rounded and colourful characters from the legendary cartoon. A good example is Bumblebee, who looks more like a VW Beetle than a Camero. Don’t write it off as a kid’s game either – I expected to breeze through the first few missions but died a fair few times. It is though pretty easy to get a high kill count during multi-player, but more on that later.

Single player mode plays a bit like Gears of War minus the cover system. It’s set entirely on Cybertron, a world that was only shown a few times during the movies. I wouldn’t get too excited by this though – the setting doesn’t make for many picturesque vistas as it’s mostly made up of large industrial style buildings and wrecked metal structures. The amount of detail going on in the background does just about make up for this.

The Autobots and Decepticons have their own campaign to play through, each taking around 4 hours to finish. There’s a fair bit of variety; as early on as the second mission you get to play one of the airborne Transformers. You’re always accompanied by AI team-mates too – the banter between which is brilliant, particularly the rivalry between Megatron and Starscream. The AI of the enemies is a bit predictable but the scarce amount of ammo does stop the game from become a monotonous shooter.

Escalation mode also draws inspiration from Gears of War, but this time Gear’s horde mode. The idea is to fight waves of enemies, restocking on ammo and health between rounds. In some ways it’s better than horde mode – every kill earns points which can be spent at vending machines (for want of a better word) that dish out new weapons, mines and shields. You can also open up new areas in the level and if knocked down by an enemy you can try to fend off foes until somebody comes and revives you. Alternatively, you can self-destruct. Robot suicide!

The standard deathmatch has much in common with Call of Duty featuring skill streaks, unlockable perks, customisable characters and XP. Every character has a unique skill, from creating a temporary barrier to deploying a sentry turret. It’s very fast paced and chaotic, and unlike Call of Duty it’s pretty easy to notch up kills as there’s plenty of heavy firepower around. And obviously, the Transformers can turn into tanks and stuff. It would have been good to see some large, more open, environments like some of the ones found in Halo 3 – piloting a jet down dull corridors isn’t exactly thrilling.

War of Cyberton shows up the last two Transformers games for the scrap that they were. It’s not perfect, but I have no qualms in saying that it’s the best licensed game since Batman: Arkham Asylum. If only Activision made sure this amount of effort was put into the rest of their licensed games…

When Disney purchased Brighton-based developer Black Rock Studios I honestly thought that they would have them working on a Mario Kart-style racer featuring Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, The Wombles and other renowned Disney characters. Fortunately not only has Disney left Black Rock alone to do what they do best – which is make ruddy good racing games – but they let them delay Split/Second to add more polish. So, well done Disney. This almost makes up for the farce that was Lady and The Tramp 2.

In most racing games it’s the cars that are the stars but not here – it’s all about the tracks. Or rather, the ability to blow stuff up that’s cleverly strewn around and on the tracks. Drifting around corners builds up a ‘Power Play’ bar – filling it up half way gives the chance to take out rival racers by blowing up petrol tankers, buildings and dropping explosives out of helicopters flying overhead. Fill the power bar to the brim though, which requires some proficient drifting, and you can summon airplanes to crash land, detonate power station cooling towers and derail trains. Short-cuts and events that will change the layout of the track can also be triggered, like bringing down a tower so that the race can continue on top of it.

Because the literally explosive set-pieces always appear in the same place, recognition starts setting in and you’ll find yourself saving up Power Plays for certain places. For instance, one track has explosives rigged near the finishing line which is handy for nabbing the 1st position in the last few seconds. Timing plays a big part too – trigger an event too soon and it won’t even leave a mark on the opposition; do it too late and they’ll be watching those glorious explosions from their rear-view mirror.

Do you know what a review embargo is? It’s a date set by a publisher that we are only allowed on, or after, to publish a review. Some publishers are sneaky – if they’re putting out a duff game they sometimes won’t allow websites to put a review up until the game has been released to minimise bad coverage. Our embargo for UFC Undisputed 2010? Four full days before release, suggesting that THQ are as pleased as punch (no pun intended) for this full swinging sequel. (Pun intended that time).

Like its predecessor it’s a very technical brawler with a deep and complex control system. It’s a good idea to play through the fifteen minute long tutorial as every single button is used on the joypad at some point. The amount of manoeuvres is impressive – as well as blocking punches you can also sway out of harms way, counter attack or attempt to grab whatever limb is heading into your direction. Anybody will be able to pick up the pad and punch and kick like a rabid mad man – you might even win a few of the beginner matches this way – but to perform submissions, clinches and get back on your feet you need a little know-how.

The CPU opposition certainly knows how exploit your weaknesses. Some foes will take everything you throw at them on the chin (literally) and then lash out with a vicious combo once your stamina is drained; others will constantly try to force you to the ground. At the start of one fight my rival took a run up and belted me in the face, knocking me out instantly. And that was that – the match was over in less than five seconds, which I certainly didn’t see coming.

I suppose this could be a new feature, “games I spent too much time slowly playing through and should have reviewed but kind of forgot to, so thought I’d better write something about them just for the sake of it”. So here isn’t a review of Final Fantasy XIII – but rather some unordered words (you’re lucky you missed my whole diatribe about Mass Effect 2, which is probably one of the best RPGs ever by the way, in the unlikely event you haven’t raped it silly yourself).

So, Final Fantasy XIII then! Final Fagtasy more like! Nah, not really. But when did Final Fantasy games become this monotonous? I remember Final Fantasy VII and VIII being well paced storytelling epics – and no, it’s not just nostalgia, as I replayed Final Fantasy VII on the PSP last year. So, at what point did Final Fantasy games turn into a series of utterly mundane battles interspersed with occasional soppy bullshit plot? I’m guessing it was around FFX. That seems to be the point at which things got tampon-happy. Final Fantasy XII seemed to be an enjoyable break from the norm, taking some points from the MMORPG book in combat at least, but Final Fantasy XIII seems back on track to make me hate Square Enix.

This may sound like a barking, incoherent rant (and it is really, so don’t confuse it for a critique of the entire game), but it comes from frustration. Because everyone keeps telling me how great Final Fantasy XIII is “after the first 15 or so hours”. I hear comments like “the last 10 hours are great!”. Oh really? It’s taken me a month to get 10 hours in so far. Partly because I’ve got better things to do, but largely because the experience so far has been so bloody painfully boring. Usually I can push through the boredom in the knowledge of some kind of plot and nice FMV, but the introduction plot and character dialogue here makes me want to stab all the big-haired freaks.

Next month I might make it 20 hours in, and I might really start enjoying it. Seriously though, what kind of game design is that? 15+ hours of shite plot, completely linear “adventuring” (literally down a straight bloody path) and semi-automated battles. Who designs something like that? A cunt, that’s who.

I might be exaggerating, but playing Final Fantasy XIII just a month after Mass Effect 2 really does show it up for… whatever it is. You want to play one of the best, most detailed, cinematic role playing games ever made? Go play Mass Effect 2.

If you think life in regular prison is tough, what with the shankings, shivings and shaftings and all, then spare a thought for Secret Service member Agent Paxton. Not only does he have to contend with being a “small fish in a big pond” (as the game rightly puts it) but he also has to keep an eye on fellow inmate Schofield and foil his plans for a prison break.

The first half an hour does a good job of drawing you in – Paxton is briefed of his mission, transported to the prison in cuffs and then shown to his cell, being jeered at the whole way. You’re then shown to the yard, which acts as a hub, where you can beef up Paxton’s muscles by playing mini-games and also call into your boss via the pay phones.

It’s slightly sad to think that the teenage gamers of today won’t have a clue who the Bonanza Brothers, Opa Opa and Alex Kidd are. That said, I consider myself to be a Sega buff and I had to Google the names of unlockable characters ‘Zobio and Zobiko’ to find out what game they’re from. Turns out the zombified duo are from The House of the Dead: EX, an arcade game released only last year. If that’s not fan service, then I don’t know what is.

Understand, understand, understand the concept, the concept of….Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing. Like Sonic himself it’s a brightly coloured affair that moves like a greased rocket. Sonic’s tracks have been designed for sheer speed, Samba de Amigo’s bare resemblance to Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road while the Monkey Ball tracks are the toughest due to some harsh 90 and 180 degree corners. The House of the Dead, sorry, Curien Mansion, tracks have zombies aimlessly hobbling around and Billy Hatcher’s assortment provide the as-to-be-expected ice and lava lands. There’s a huge emphasis on power sliding to gain boosts, which is achieved by holding down the left trigger. The same button is also used to perform tricks when in the air.

In the early Mario Kart games the weapons where perfectly balanced. Mario Kart Wii though messed things up with its unavoidable blue shell and blooper ink that smothered the screen. Thankfully there’s nothing inescapable here – the screen can be covered with an obscuring rainbow effect, but only if you’re careless enough drive into a rainbow that somebody has dropped behind. The rest of the weapon assortment includes Sonic’s sneakers as a speed boost, a couple of projectiles (Alex Kidd’s boxing gloves and rockets from Chu Chu Rocket) and a bomb that you can bowl down the track. Do poorly in races and eventually you’ll get a power-up to go ‘All-Star’ and perform an attack unique to each character. Jet Set/Grind Radio’s Beat leaps out of his car and onto his skates and starts spraying other racers with paint; Big the Cat turns into a giant frog and leaps his way to victory. Funnily enough, Eggman always seems to be in last place.

Visceral Games satanic slasher is not based on the seven deadly sins as some misinformed people may lead you to believe, but rather the nine circles of Hell as described by Dante Alighieri’s fourteenth-century poem the Divine Comedy. As Dante embarks on his quest to free his lover he has to fight his way through Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Violence, Fraud, Betrayal and Heresay. I know that the winners of 2001’s Pop Idol weren’t the best group ever, but I don’t think it particularly fair that they’ve ended up in Hell.

If you’ve played any of the God of War games then you’ll feel a sense of familiarity here. The combat system is well thought out and versatile, allowing for air combos and counter attacks while every foe bestows souls when destroyed that can be used to unlock new moves and upgrade existing ones. When finishing off an enemy you can choose to absolve their sins or punish them which will determine whether Dante follows the Holy or the Unholy path.

Following the Holy path will give better magic attacks and stronger defenses while the Unholy path gives more brutal attacks. Dante also comes across historic figures such as Boudicca and Pontius Pilate which too can be punished or absolved for their sins via a button matching mini-game. There aren’t enough souls to go around to follow both the Holy and Unholy paths in one game, which gives incentive for a second play through.

It’s always important to make a good first impression, which is something that Capcom’s Dark Void failed to do. My copy came with a code to unlock a gold jetpack, so before playing the game for the first time I redeemed the code and downloaded the shiny golden bonus. In went the disk, the developer logos appeared followed by a black screen and then…nothing – it wouldn’t load any further. I checked the disk, tried a different game; reloaded Dark Void a few times – it still froze up after the developer logos. After scratching my head a bit I thought I’d try deleting the content I had just downloaded, meaning I wouldn’t be able to get the gold jetpack as the code can only be used once. It turned out this was stopping the game from loading. And then about half an hour into the game the screen froze and it crashed. I know being a games tester isn’t the most glamorous job in the gaming industry, but they could at least do their bloody job properly.

So, my Dark Void experience got off to a bad start. Fortunately it was worth sticking with – the jetpack gives the game a nice twist, the sci-fi plot is interesting and there’s a degree of fun to be had. The third person on foot stages play like Gears of War with a similar cover system while the enemies – slug like larva encased in metal robotic skeletons – are smart enough to flank, leap out of the way of grenades and will retreat if outnumbered. Like Halo there’s a two weapon limit; weapons can be swapped over during levels by finding weapon creates and can also be upgraded. Melee attack animations are pleasingly brutal too, particularly the one where protagonist Will grabs hold of an enemy’s head, twists their body round to give you a full view of the action, sticks gun to their chest and pulls the trigger. Classy.

Activision releasing a version of DJ Hero on Nintendo DS is inevitable. What isn’t inevitable though is whether they’ll bundle it with a peripheral like the DS version of Guitar Hero before it. It’s no big deal if it doesn’t happen – Deep Silver’s DJ Star proves that something like this can work just fine without any hunk of plastic hanging out of the DS’s cartridge slot.

Any game of the this ilk is going to live or die by its music selection, so it’s fortunate that the developers have had wide enough wallets to be able to include a large selection of licensed music including stuff from Calvin Harris, Eric Prydz, Bob Sinclair and Pharrell Williams. The sound quality is surprisingly good, although the DS’s speakers aren’t really designed for heavy bass lines.

At the start only a few tracks are available, with the rest becoming unlocked as your custom-made character starts their clichéd career path of going from a bedroom based disk jockey to a superstar DJ. There’s also a simple to use music creation tool to make your own music with. It reminds me of something I used to play around with on a Sony Ericsson mobile phone about five years ago – just drag and drop beats and away you go.

Konami are brave souls for picking up the publishing duties for this one. See, Silent Hill is considered to be the pinnacle of survival horror, so any dark and dank third-person adventure game in which the main character uses a flashlight usually gets compared to it. Why release something that is bound to be considered inferior to a product that already exists? Probably because the SAW series is absurdly popular.

The premise is pleasingly simple – Detective Tapp wakes up in an abandoned mental asylum with a key sewn into his chest. This key happens to be for the exit, and so everybody else that has been brought into the asylum to play Jigsaw’s twisted game is after Tapp. From start to finish Jigsaw sets various tasks and puzzles while the asylum itself is rigged with traps. It’s not a particularly scary game, just a bit grim at times. Like having to put your hand in a toilet bowl full of used syringes and grab a key before the pain becomes too much.

As soon as the second level Tapp has a shotgun collar put around his neck – come into contact with anybody else wearing one and it’ll detonate. Enemies usually go down with three or four punches so they’re not exactly anything to fear. In some sections guns are available but fortunately they don’t turn the game into a mindless shooter as ammo is limited to what’s inside the gun when you find it. You can also set up your own traps by using shotgun shells, paint thinner and other objects. A definite highpoint is the battle against Pig Head, who is too strong to take down with melee weapons, instead requiring some clever trap placement to kill.

I am a simple man. Give me a decent circuit, a good sense of speed, a believable enough simulation of a Formula 1 car, and a grand prix weekend’s complement of practice sessions, and I’m happy. F1 2009 does just that, so in terms of their first game with the license, it’s job done for Codemasters.