There’s a shop in Brighton that sells imported sweets and other sugar-filled snacks. I usually buy a can of Mountain Dew when passing by, but today they had a range of energy drinks that caught my eye.

The Street Fighter: Dragon Punch Energy Drink features Ken on the bright red can. I haven’t tasted it yet but I know I’ll be buzzing after – it contains 120mg on caffeine. I’m guessing that the Ghostbusters Ectoplasm drink is green. If not, I want a refund. Then there’s the brilliantly titled Quagmire’s Cherry Pop. Giggidy. There was also a Resident Evil T-Virus energy drink. I don’t think I’d be alone in saying that the idea of buying something with the word ‘virus’ on the can is slightly off-putting.

You can rest assured that none of these cans will end up in the recycling bin.

Physicist Sidney ­Perkowitz has been in the news over the last week, suggesting that science fiction films require too much suspension of belief. His solution: they should only be allowed one major breach of the laws of physics, and everything else must follow logically from there.

Now, he’s not a young man, so games might not invade his brain space too much. But, boy howdy, he’d not be keen to see… well, pretty much any game.

He’s got a problem with the giant insects in Starship Troopers, so most massive end of level bosses are going to get right up his nose. And that’s before the general sci-fi nonsense of, you know, most games.

Come on then: what’s your favourite game-related science codswallop?

This Week’s Games

I don’t know if Sonic and SEGA All-Stars Racing features any music – remixes or original – from Sonic R, but it bloody well should. Even if it doesn’t it’s still worth considering as reviews have been solid including an 8/10 from GamesRadar and 78% from NGamer Magazine. Both said that the track design is decent but the commentary soon gets annoying. It’s out on Wii, DS, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and, funnily enough, PC, this week. Why no PSP version, Sega?

PSP owners shouldn’t feel too bad though – both Dante’s Inferno and perplexing puzzler Echoshift are out to buy from tomorrow. The curious Heavy Rain, which is rather aptly named given the weather at the moment, is this week’s big PlayStation 3 release. I have no idea if it’ll sell well though. The Wii meanwhile gets the very good Ace Combat-alike Sky Crawlers: Innocent Aces and the presumably rubbish Safar’Wii.

Over in the world of Xbox 360 there are two new racers – budget priced Crash Time 3 (£17.99 at Gameplay) and Superstars V8 Racing: The Next Challenge. The first Superstars V8 didn’t review too well. Maybe this will be an improvement?

Another less than full-price title hitting shelves is Way of the Samurai 3 on both PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. It sounds like there’s some nice ideas behind it – there’s 15 different endings and you can talk your way out of fights. The first Way of the Samuari game has something of a cult following too.

Another else left? Only a little gem of a game called Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes on DS. This got rave reviews (which is a phrase I haven’t used in a long time, incidentally) around Christmas time but was put back until now to avoid getting lost in the Xmas rush. Imagine a mixture of Advance Wars and Final Fantasy Tactics and you should get the gist.

Next week: Final Fantasy XIII, Battlefield: Bad Company 2, Sonic Classic Collection, Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, Infinite Space, Dementium II and the Nintendo DSi XL.

Visceral Games satanic slasher is not based on the seven deadly sins as some misinformed people may lead you to believe, but rather the nine circles of Hell as described by Dante Alighieri’s fourteenth-century poem the Divine Comedy. As Dante embarks on his quest to free his lover he has to fight his way through Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Violence, Fraud, Betrayal and Heresay. I know that the winners of 2001’s Pop Idol weren’t the best group ever, but I don’t think it particularly fair that they’ve ended up in Hell.

If you’ve played any of the God of War games then you’ll feel a sense of familiarity here. The combat system is well thought out and versatile, allowing for air combos and counter attacks while every foe bestows souls when destroyed that can be used to unlock new moves and upgrade existing ones. When finishing off an enemy you can choose to absolve their sins or punish them which will determine whether Dante follows the Holy or the Unholy path.

Following the Holy path will give better magic attacks and stronger defenses while the Unholy path gives more brutal attacks. Dante also comes across historic figures such as Boudicca and Pontius Pilate which too can be punished or absolved for their sins via a button matching mini-game. There aren’t enough souls to go around to follow both the Holy and Unholy paths in one game, which gives incentive for a second play through.

Japanese publisher Spike, who release many western games in Japan, recently asked over 6,000 Japanese gamers if they’d rather play Western games with subtitles or dubbing.

The “winner” was subtitles with 49% of the vote, followed by 47% with dubbing. 4% just simply didn’t care. Or words to that effect. The breakdown for specific genres though is a little more mixed – 59% percent want dubbing in first person shooters but for RPGs only 45% percent want dubbing.

If you read Japanese and give two hoots, there’s a dedicated website of the findings.

UK Charts

It’s a good week for Sega – despite mixed reviews Alien Vs Predator has managed to shove Bioshock 2 off the top of the chart after just one week. Rebellion also claim that it’s the fastest selling game of the year so far, beating even Bioshock 2. Sega’s Vancouver 2010 tie-in is in at #11 this week too, which likewise, has been getting some negative reviews.

There can’t be many Van Halen fans in the UK – Guitar Hero: Van Halen has failed to enter the top 40. The best it can do is #17 in the Xbox 360 chart.

Dante’s Inferno has fallen like a sinner dropping into hell this week, going from #9 to #22. The very similar Darksiders is back on the rise though, up from #32 to #19. And after appearing at #14 last week due to “super bowl fever”, Madden NFL 10 has fallen from #14 to #39.

So few WH Smiths stores sell games that it’s unlikely that anybody will notice that, after much beard scratching, they’ve decided to stop stocking them all together.

Tough competition from HMV, Game and GameStation is the cause, although WH Smiths’ lack of advertising and high prices probably didn’t help – I spotted Red Alert 3 on Xbox 360 for an absurd £44 a few weeks ago. Their online site – run by TheHut Group – will continue though.

It’s a little bit sad to hear this news as WH Smiths were pioneers back in the 80s, being one of the first high street stores (along with Boots) to start selling videogames. Boots in Worthing was awesome back in the day – they had Mega Drive demo pods and everything.

This Week’s Games

Aliens vs Predator, then. Reviews have been incredibly mixed – everything from a 5.5/10 from Gamespot to a 9/10 from the Official Australian PlayStation Magazine. People have been reporting that the face hugger that comes with the deluxe edition has arrived broken too, although Sega have promptly set up a website where people can ask for a replacement.

If AvP doesn’t take your fancy this week then unfortunately there isn’t much else out – just Guitar Hero: Van Halen on the three major formats, Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 and Karaoke Revolution on Wii.

The handhelds have some interesting stuff though – Half Minute Hero on PSP is an RPG split into thirty second chunks of gameplay while Ace Attorney: Miles Edgeworth Investigates on DS is a spin-off from Phoenix Wright. Bizarrely, Ubisoft seems to think releasing a Hello Kitty game (Hello Kitty Puzzle Party) on PSP is a good idea to make some money. I beg to differ. Releasing a game like SOCOM U.S. Navy SEALs: Fireteam Bravo 3 – which is also out today – is probably a safer bet.

Next week: Heavy Rain, Sonic and SEGA All-Stars Racing, Lips: Party Classics, SafarWii, Sky Crawlers: Innocent Aces, Undead Knights and White Knight Chronicles.

Looking around the Deal Extreme website is like looking around a dodgy backstreet version of Maplin, full of special screwdrivers to open up your consoles with, replacement console cases and other gizmos and gadgets. It’s the quirky looking handhelds that have made me want to put together this article, although you might end up in hell for playing them – many contain naughty illegal ROMs and the like.

The Conny Pocket Dream Console is one of the few handhelds on the site that contains unique built-in games; the screenshots certainly don’t look too bad. It has 100 games built in, can be connected to a TV and has a 2.5” TFT screen. Price? $65/£40 to you, sailor. A similar and cheaper product is the FC 6000 which comes with a cartridge full of NES games. The boxart features artwork from Smash Bros. Brawl. If Shigsy saw this he’d probably cry.

Cheaper still is the snappily named D-Cat 8 Game Console with 100 NES games built in. It’s a stupidly cheap $20 (about £12) but I’d imagine that the build quality isn’t great. A forum member has posted a few photos – one of the games included is Bomberman and there’s also a hack of Mario Bros. called Shrek Bros. Madness.

Now we’re getting into murky territory. The name of this console isn’t even mentioned – it just looks identical to a GameBoy Advance SP and has SP2 on the lid. There’s no cartridge slot but you can download NES, SNES, GBC, GBA and Neo Geo games on it. The GameBoy Advance SP seems to be a popular console to clone. The GB Station Light is cheaper ($28/£17) and has a cartridge slot but can only play NES games. The menu screen features a taunton from Star Wars, but that doesn’t mean you should buy it. Another nameless console is also on the site – it’s a clone of the original GBA, has a cartridge slot for GB and GBC games and has a load of GBA games built in. Unlike the original GBA though it has a rechargeable battery. $56/£34 is the asking price.

It’s not just Nintendo’s handhelds that have been cloned; here’s one that looks identical to the PSP. $59/£37 gets you a console that has a camera, plays videos, MP3s and retro games but not PSP games. People say that the screen is very good which isn’t something you’d expect.

Finally there’s the Dingoo A-320 while appears to be the granddaddy of all of the above, able to play just about any ROM you throw at it plus music and videos. Deal Extreme compares the design to a GameBoy Mirco, although I’d say it looks more like the bottom half of a DS Lite. People who have brought one seem to be very pleased so if you do fancy having something in your pocket that isn’t a PSP or DS this could be a good choice. After all, it’s not illegal to play ROMs, MP3s or movie files of stuff you actually own.

I think Amazon need to hire somebody to keep a closer eye on the world of videogames – this morning they sent me an e-mail asking if I wanted to pre-order Hei$t. You know, the game that Codemaster’s officially announced as canned last month. Also mentioned in the e-mail was This is Vegas, which I don’t think it ever going to come out either. Midway were going to be publishing it and then went bust ages ago.

It’s probably a good job that Amazon don’t take money from your credit card until your order ships, unlike some retailers.

UK Charts

If you’ll excuse the rubbish pun, it shouldn’t be a shock to discover that Bioshock 2 is top of the top 40 chart this week. What is slightly shocking though is that Bayonetta has gone all the way back up from #36 to #10 thanks to some heavy price cuts – both Zavvi and Shopto.net are selling it for £17.95 at the moment.

Madden NFL 10 is back at a rather high #14 too. Anybody know why? I’m assuming it as been heavily reduced somewhere. I can guess though why Up is back at #35 – its released on DVD and Blu Ray this week.

In the single formats Phantasy Star Zero goes in at #35 in the DS chart, Monkey Ball: Step and Roll at #19 in the Wii chart while Star Ocean: The Last Hope makes a splash at #11 in the PlayStation 3 chart.

It’s always important to make a good first impression, which is something that Capcom’s Dark Void failed to do. My copy came with a code to unlock a gold jetpack, so before playing the game for the first time I redeemed the code and downloaded the shiny golden bonus. In went the disk, the developer logos appeared followed by a black screen and then…nothing – it wouldn’t load any further. I checked the disk, tried a different game; reloaded Dark Void a few times – it still froze up after the developer logos. After scratching my head a bit I thought I’d try deleting the content I had just downloaded, meaning I wouldn’t be able to get the gold jetpack as the code can only be used once. It turned out this was stopping the game from loading. And then about half an hour into the game the screen froze and it crashed. I know being a games tester isn’t the most glamorous job in the gaming industry, but they could at least do their bloody job properly.

So, my Dark Void experience got off to a bad start. Fortunately it was worth sticking with – the jetpack gives the game a nice twist, the sci-fi plot is interesting and there’s a degree of fun to be had. The third person on foot stages play like Gears of War with a similar cover system while the enemies – slug like larva encased in metal robotic skeletons – are smart enough to flank, leap out of the way of grenades and will retreat if outnumbered. Like Halo there’s a two weapon limit; weapons can be swapped over during levels by finding weapon creates and can also be upgraded. Melee attack animations are pleasingly brutal too, particularly the one where protagonist Will grabs hold of an enemy’s head, twists their body round to give you a full view of the action, sticks gun to their chest and pulls the trigger. Classy.