“Nice video / Shame about the song.” That’s probably the only thing I can remember from Not the Nine O’Clock News, which isn’t bad considering it was first broadcast when I was between the ages of -2 and 0 years old. It rather sums up echochrome though, which looked simply divine when it was shown in video form last year. A black and white puzzle game where changing perspective changes reality – it looked interesting, new, mature.

But I should have seen it coming. The black and white, the all lowercase title – it’s massively poncy, and that’s not often a good sign. What should have been a minimalist, mind-bending, but perversely intuitive puzzler, is actually just a fiddly little bugger.

There may not have been a new Zelda or Mario shown at E3, but don’t despair – a new adventure game by Chibi-Robo creators Skip has been revealed in a recent issue of Famitsu.

The best thing about this, ahem, colourful game is that it stars a wide range of B-list Nintendo characters living together on an island, with the first two to be revealed being Birdo from Mario Bros. 2 and Little Mac from Punch Out.

Details of what the game entails are a little hazy, but so far footage of Captain Rainbow – and his alter-ego Nick – going fishing, collecting bugs and playing golf has been shown. What B-list characters would you like to see? Slippy Toad? Rick the hamster from Kirby? The L-shaped block from Tetris?

UK Chart

Lego Indiana Jones – which has been riding high since release – has been knocked all the way from the top of the chart to #5, with Wii Fit sitting atop the top 40 once again. The rubbish WALL-E stays at #2, with Mario Kart Wii at #3 and Guitar Hero: On Tour at #4. I’m a poet and I don’t know it.

There aren’t any new entries, but there are a few re-entries – More Brain Training at #22, Touchmaster at #26, Sega Superstars Tennis at #32 and our friend Imagine: Babies at #38.

Alone in the Dark – which Atari hoped to sell 3 million copies of – looks on its way out of the chart, currently at #36. Unreal Tournament III isn’t doing too well either at #37.

Ubisoft are publishing a Gordon Ramsay Hell’s Kitchen game for Wii and DS this September, while Atari have recently announced interactive cook book What’s Cooking? With Jamie Oliver for the DS. If you ask me, this paves the way for a Escape to River Cottage game staring Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Imagine the mini games:

Fishing!
Cooking roadkill!
Killing hand-reared live animals!
Eating dodgy looking mushrooms!
Ram-raiding harmful chicken farms in a tractor!
Washing and conditioning Hugh’s lovely golden locks!

I think somebody somewhere could have a big seller on their hands…

This Week’s Games Game

You can’t have any new games this week because you’ll spoil your dinner. Oh go on then, you can have one: Buzz Master Quiz on PSP. But don’t tell your father.

WALL-E’s opening level shows promise, with the trash-compacting robot whizzing around an abandoned futuristic version of Earth solving puzzles with cubes made out of various scrap metals.

As soon as the second level recon robot EVE becomes playable. Her free-roaming flying levels are the best looking in the game – although that’s not saying much – but the levels that show the most inspiration are the ones where WALL-E and EVE work as a team. She’s armed with a laser and can carry Johnny Five – sorry, WALL-E – across gaps. Amazingly, she can also fly through solid walls and get snagged on scenery, forcing the game to crash. Ah, the joys of rushed out summer film licenses!

Glitches aside, the real problem is that after the first few levels, the same puzzles and objectives are repeated again and again. Time limits are overly-relaxed, and there’s way too much hand-holding – you’re even told how to defeat bosses before battle commences.

The game uses the Havoc physics engine, and towards the end a magnetic cube that can send metal objects flying appears, which hints at the shenanigans WALL-E could have got up to. But sadly it’s too late; three hours is all it takes to see the end credits.

There are extras to find – including Toy Story 2 toys hidden off the beaten track – and a multiplayer mode for four players, but you’d be much better off with one of the Ratchet & Clank games.

UK Chart

With the film now out, WALL E has shot up the chart from #16 to #2. Shame, then, that it’s a load of rusty balls – three hours is all it takes to see pretty much everything.

Lego Indiana Jones is back on top, followed by Wii Fit and Wii Play. Mario Kart Wii is also back in the top ten, up from #12 to #6. Top Spin 3 is out though, dropping from #4 to #12.

Guitar Hero: On Tour is the only new entry, going in at #11. If it had sold just 57 more copies it would have made it to #10. Sports Party on Wii is on the biggest riser from #29 to #13.

There isn’t anything exciting going on the single format charts, apart from the Koei RPG Soul Nomad & The World Eaters going in at #20 in the PlayStation 2 chart. That must have sold literally dozens of copies.

Game claims that there are just four titles out this week: Guitar Hero on Tour and Animal Genius for DS, The Incredible Hulk on PlayStation 2 and Pool Party on Wii. So unless you fancy using your DS as a guitar then this week is a bit of a write-off.

There isn’t much out next week either – Buzz and International Athletics on PSP, and Lifesigns: Hospital Affairs and Road to Vegas on DS. By the looks of things, Soul Calibur IV is the next big game, out 1st August. Welcome to summer!

Would you rather watch (mostly glorified) footage of the titles shown at E3 rather than read boring words about them? Then a trip over to our YouTube channel should do you some good.

Videos currently proving popular include Ubisoft’s new IP I am Alive, Microsoft’s “Xbox 360 Experience” avatars and dashboard update video, and Sega’s new Sonic Unleashedteaser. There’s also a new Ghostbusters one and some awfully dark Gears of War 2 footage.

Expect more videos to be uploaded over the next few days.

We all know that Sony needs to show off something really special at this year’s E3. The good news is that they showed off more surprises than Nintendo did, with the biggest being MAG from SOCOM developers Zipper Interactive. Think Resistance 2’s 60 player online mode sounded impressive? Think again – MAG will let 256 players battle it out. Squads of 8 players can be led by those who have shown skill on the battlefield with characters that can be customised to match your playing style. The video showed troops being dropped off in helicopters, APCs swarming over huge landscapes and such. Also shown in teaser form was God of War 3.

The familiar looking Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Bounty is due to hit the PSN for a cheap $15. It’ll be shorter that the last Ratchet & Clank game, hence the lower price. Others due for the PSN store include 2D shooter Crash Commando, top-down shooter Fat Princess, Rag Doll Kung Fu: Fists of Plastic, PAIN Amusement Park, FlOwer and Siren: Blood Curse.

LittleBigPlanet also has a release date. A release month, rather – October 2008. Sucker Punch’s infamous – an open world superhero game – is looking good and should be one to watch, while the online DC Universe could be the first truly successful console MMO. Killzone 2, Motor Storm 2, GT5, Resistance 2 and Home all got another showing. There’s still no date for Home.

The PSP got a look in too, with Resistance Retribution from Bend Studios. It’s third person and looks rather grey. LocoRoco 2, Patapon 2, Super Stardust Portable and Midnight Club: Los Angeles Remix are on their way as well and should all be self-explanatory.

They haven’t forgotten about the PlayStation 2 either: a Lego Batman bundle is coming, which will also include a Justice League DVD for $150. A new PSP bundle was announced which will include Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters (why not the newer Secret Agent Clank?), National Treasure 2 on UMD, a 1GB memory stick and a voucher for echochrome. The price? A nice $199. A new 80GB PlayStation 3 is also reported to be out soon for $400, but it sounds as if it’ll be the same as the current model which is sans PlayStation 2 compatibility.

MAG certainly has the potential to be massive, although things could get a little too hectic with 256 players. Trying to spot snipers will be near impossible. Other than that though, it would appear that Sony are sticking to the same out business plans they’ve used for years – churn out as many sequels to popular titles as possible. Home had better be worth the wait.

Nintendo are effectively upgrading the Wii Remote. This immediately sounds warning bells: anything non-standard inevitably means that not everyone has the same equipment – and that’s the essential assumption for console games.

But it’s okay, because the Wii MotionPlus – as it’s being called – will be included with Wii Sports Resort. Also included will be a Wii Remote Jacket. Bargain? Probably. Amongst the new stuff in the game will be Dog Disc, Sword Play and Power Cruising, which looks like Wave Race. Will it better the original Wii Sports? Possibly not.

Animal Crossing: City Folk for Wii looks like more of the same old, but I’ve bought it twice before, and chances are I’ll buy it again. There’s an “urban city area” to visit, but you won’t be able to convene with online friends there – a shame, but very much in line with Nintendo’s policy of shielding people from each other online. You’ll again be able to visit friends’ towns though, and moreover talk to them there with the WiiiSpeak microphone. It’s not going to be a headset though; rather it will allow whole rooms to speak to each other. Hopefully it’ll be better than most conference phones I’ve used.

I like the sound of Wii Music. The Wii Remote and Nunchuck will be used to pretend you’re playing everything from guitar and violin to steel drum and cowbell. COWBELL! What sounds great to me, though, is “a pressure-free musical playground where there are no mistakes.” That’s right, it’s about fun. Can I get a hell yeah?

Not much for the DS, to be honest. There’s Japanese mad music tappy thing Rhythm Heaven, which certainly looks mental. Oh, and an exclusive Grand Theft Auto game – Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars.

There are videos and all sorts over on Nintendo’s E3 website.

The original Ninja Gaiden (on Xbox, not the NES one) was a tough game. So much so that FHM infamously gave it a scathing review because they couldn’t get past the first boss. For this sequel an ‘Acolyte ninja’ easy mode is available from the start, but the strange thing is that the game keeps on getting easier and easier – the weapons get more powerful but you’re still fighting the same old enemies. To put this into perspective: the predecessor took me 32 hours to finish; this took just over 13. So yes, the easy mode does exactly what it says on the tin. But does this sequel provide the same slick joyride?